I remembered clearly when i was told by my Dr. that i will never walk rest of my life, I never believed that and my feeling was totally weird and how could it be possible. How and why it happened with me that was my only question i probably asked to everyone. It was just like a movie. Within a friction of time everything changed from my life and i found myself in the hospital bed and after getting my sense i saw few faces observed me very carefully. I do realize that something happened serious with me but no clue. They clear me the fact soon after i releases from life support.
I didn’t remember my 1st surgery after immediate of my accident because that time i was unconscious. I heard that i was rescued by helicopter and i could die at that time if it was few late. But i remember my 2nd surgery. When i went through my 2nd surgery, i was told by my Dr that it’s a very severe operation in my spine and they are going to fix a metal at my neck for my betterment but i could die at the time of operation if anything goes wrong. They provide us a consent paper and that was signed by my wife.
It was also a very different feeling of mine that i only remember but no words to explain. I clearly remember that before few minutes of my surgery i was trying to recollect all my good memories from my last 37 years and i was assembling in my mind. My son was only in my mind and the memories relates with him. Egarly i want to see him once and i want to say goodbye to my parents.
Fortunately i survived but i lost lot of things. Due to my spinal cord injuries 80% of my body got paralyzed below chest, my bowl and bladder will not be controlled so I always carry urinal bag, my hand function was effected 80%. I can’t feed and write even, I had no pain and temperature sensation 80% of my body. According to medical science I will never ever stand and walk again rest of my life. After a long period i was thought in my mind that it might be a bad dream that will be over soon and i will be like before. We tried few alternative options but my injury level was too high for any further treatment.
I cried a lot and long days i didn’t talk with anyone. I was speechless and i was blocked in one point that what I will do now. I was in a huge trauma around 02 years. After that I’m trying to convince myself and trying to back in to my life as much as I can. I want to start my family life again and want to build my son’s future. Few positive human being from all over the world charged me a lot and changed me. I gained so much positive energy from their lifestyle and that helps me a lot. I had my accident when i was 37 years of my age and passing a very decent and prosperous lifestyle with my family. Everything was quite good and sound. I have regret from my life that i wish i could stay well few more years and spend time with my family.
2nd innings of my life starts.I was taught that i need to live and survive rest of my life in a different way and i have to manage the operations of my body in a different way. The transition period of my life was very important both physically and mentally. I need to keep my mental balance and transformation of mental situation was too tough. I was taught and i learned every small and basic things of life surviving issues. Earlier i thought it was impossible to manage but slowly determination and practice makes lot of things possible. The 07 months of CRP had a great impact on me. All the mental strength may be i gather from here that helps my physical improvement. I learned lot of things here and gained knowledge by exchanging views from lots of patients. Different level of injury and different patients from different levels of society made this place unique and i found CRP is the only specialized place for Spinal Cord Injury patients.
I’m blessed for the extension of my life as i could die at the time of my accident. Blessed to see the world again, spending time with my son, try to do few of my unfinished job. But this situation changed the perception and attitude of my life. Bad time’s made me more mature and realistic towards life. It was an opportunity to see the real faces of lots of fake people and friends. This situation also produce few new faces in my life those are really good and caring. But this earth is very cruel and critical. Not at all user-friendly for any disabled wheelchair person. Every time and situations make me wonder. Few issues come forward and lot of situations I’m experiencing which was very unexpected and uncomfortable. I’m clearly understanding that this was
Sacrifice and silence is the main keywords to survive gently in this life and situation.
Generally all dropout people’s find an alternative way to live their lives and lots of people’s brought success and prosperity in different ways. Because they need to face lots of odds and hurdles in their life and easy way they didn’t find any solution. Every dropout person and their situation is different. I considered myself as a dropout person after my accident as i told earlier and i have my own reasons. Every incident or accident had it’s own reactions and i truly realize that any types of pain or shock in life makes every human being more strong and perfect. Positive thinking and strong mental stability can manage and change any types of situation. I strongly believe that with my lots of negative physical issues i can achieve my goal and dreams in a different way. I need to explore every alternative routes to fulfil my unfinished jobs. Confidence related with the achievements and my every small achievements makes me confident.
At the end i want to say i need to go long way.